Month: October 2025

Ways to Build Trust

By Mike Schentrup

Students ask me all the time, how do I build trust with my team. Here are some easy and proven ways to build trust and ultimately, good relationships with your teammates.

From WatchTower Leadership Solutions.

• Keep Commitments –  when someone asks you to do something, either one of your team or your boss, follow through. Make sure it doesn’t fall through the cracks.  Keeping you commitments demonstrates the basic level of trust.
• Deliver Results – or as Jocko Willick says, “PERFORM!”  The is no better way to build trust with your boss and Command than performing well.  Whether as an individual or as the team leader, when a task is assigned, dominate it. And always look for opportunities to help improve your organization.
• Be present – you can’t be part of team if they never see you. Get out in the field and help. You don’t have to supervise them, just help them.  Let them run the call and just ask what you can do to help.
• Admit mistakes and apologize – I always say, and I have posted a lot, there is no better way to build trust that to admit when you are wrong.
• Build relationships – if the cornerstone of leadership is trust, then the BEST way to build trust is through relationships. John Maxwell said, “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care about them.”
• Extend trust – we must give people our trust before they will trust us.  Trust is a two way street.  We have to extend trust first.
• Humility – the second cornerstone of leadership.  Humility help you to be open, sometimes even vulnerable, and always approachable.

Work hard on these things every day and you will build a great team!

Check out Mike’s leadership course, Leadership for Front Line Supervisors

Integrity

By Steve Sweeting (aka Sgt Steve)

Every Police Officer knows that the #1 rule is “Do not lie”. Our Integrity is the cornerstone of who we are and what we believe in. If you can’t trust a Police Officer, then who can you trust?  Integrity and honesty are so important in our profession,  that lying is usually the one violation capable of having you fired immediately. 

The whole point of Stoicism is to become a good person, and as a good person, you will be fulfilled and at peace with the world around you. A person who does not have integrity will have A LOT trouble being a good person or being at peace with the world around them. How much stress and anxiety will you have if you are lying and are constantly worried about people learning the truth.? 

Integrity is more than just not lying. Having integrity means that you are a person who is committed to taking the right action no matter what the circumstance. I like to think of Integrity as being a combination of reliability, good intentions, and honesty. 

The Stoics didn’t use the word Integrity much. The author Vincent Kennedy said that the Stoics “Saw it (integrity) as part of being human – part of being virtuous.” Kennedy went on to quote Albert Camus the existentialist philosopher who said:

“Integrity has no need of rules”

I like this quote, because it speaks to some of the seeming contradictions that Police Officers practicing Stoicism sometimes experience. In order to enforce the law, we are given wide leeway to break many laws. We can speed, run red lights, we can hit people first, we can carry weapons where others aren’t allowed, and we are allowed to lie to suspects and offenders during investigations. If you aren’t constantly focused on being a good person, it may be easy to lose your way with all of this rule and law breaking. On the other hand, if you have integrity, it is fairly easy to understand when and where the rules apply to you and when they don’t. 

• You can run that redlight to go save someone in an emergency, you shouldn’t run that redlight just because you don’t feel like waiting. 
• You can lie to that suspect, or tell half-truths in the pursuit of justice, but you can’t lie on your timecard or to your spouse. 
• You can tackle a suspect who is about to resist, but you can’t hit someone just because they annoy you. 

Check out more of Steve’s content here.

While the Stoics didn’t use the word “integrity” much if you explore their works, you can draw some pretty obvious conclusions about what they thought. Marcus Aurelius had a lot to say on the topic, and he was often succinct and to the point: 

Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good.

– Marcus Aurelius

Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that will make you break your word or lose your self-respect.

-Marcus Aurelius

A man should be upright, not kept upright.

-Marcus Aurelius

If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.

-Marcus Aurelius

While your reputation is something that is outside of your control in many ways, you can influence others to have a positive perception of you. In Law Enforcement, the number one way to accomplish this is to have a high degree of integrity. If you practice integrity and honesty it will be obvious to all you deal with. 

“How rotten and fraudulent when people say they intend to ‘give it to you straight.’ What are you up to, dear friend? It shouldn’t need your announcement, but be readily seen, as if written on your forehead, heard in the ring of your voice, a flash in your eyes — just as the beloved sees it all in the lover’s glance. In short, the straightforward and good person should be like a smelly goat — you know when they are in the room with you.”

—Marcus Aurelius 

I’ll leave you with one last thought and quote from the great Marcus Aurelius. If you have not been being a person with integrity, if you have piled up the lies and it feels like there is no way out. If you have made a habit out of lying to yourself and others, Stop it, and start behaving better. Start being a person that you respect. If you have to lie cheat or steal to obtain or keep a thing, you probably don’t need it.

If you are lying to maintain a relationship, consider that the person you are lying to isn’t in a relationship with you, they are actually with the fake version of you that will cease to exist the second that the truth is found out. Whatever situation you are in, if you are looking to live a better more meaningful life, Marcus Aurelius has some good advice. 

“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” 

– Marcus Aurelius

Behaving with integrity can be a challenge at first, but it is achievable and worth the effort. If you follow the four stoic virtues (Wisdom, Justice, Courage, and Temperance), behaving with integrity should come fairly naturally. 

Deescalate Yourself First

By Steve Sweeting (aka Sgt Steve)

We’ve all encountered that one coworker who storms onto the scene like a hurricane, instantly escalating tensions and disrupting any semblance of calm. More often than not, their agitation started long before they stepped out of their vehicle, and their frenzied, combative demeanor is like throwing gasoline on a smoldering fire. The hard truth is that you cannot be an effective part of the solution if you are, in fact, contributing to the problem, especially when it comes to the critical skill of deescalation. That’s why it’s absolutely essential for Officers to master the art of deescalating themselves first, setting the stage for successful conflict resolution and maintaining the peace.

In today’s challenging environment, deescalation techniques have become essential tools for LEOs on the job. Drawing from battle-tested Stoic philosophy, which emphasizes rationality, self-control, and emotional mastery, LEOs can develop a unique skill set to successfully deescalate tense situations.

The Stoic Approach: Master Your Emotions

As a LEO, you are constantly faced with situations that can provoke strong emotions. This is where the Stoic philosophy can offer valuable guidance. At its core, Stoicism teaches that we cannot control external events, but we can control our reactions to them. By focusing on what is within our control and learning to master our emotions, we can maintain our composure during difficult encounters.

“Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.” 

– Epictetus

This emotional control is crucial in deescalation. When you’re able to manage your emotions, you’re less likely to respond impulsively or aggressively, giving you the ability to communicate effectively with the individuals you encounter. In turn, this fosters trust and cooperation, making it easier for you to gain compliance and resolve the situation peacefully.

Check out more of Steve’s content here.

Deescalate Yourself First: The Stoic Checklist

1. Recognize your emotions: Take a moment to acknowledge and identify the emotions you’re experiencing. This self-awareness is the first step towards emotional mastery.
2. Separate yourself from your emotions: Remind yourself that you are not your emotions. They are simply temporary reactions to external events. By detaching yourself from your emotions, you can observe them objectively and prevent them from dictating your actions.
3. Focus on what is within your control: Instead of fixating on external events, concentrate on what you can control, such as your thoughts, actions, and reactions. This shift in focus empowers you to maintain your composure and make rational decisions.
4. Practice negative visualization: Visualize the worst-case scenario in your current situation. By doing so, you mentally prepare yourself for potential difficulties and develop resilience in the face of adversity.
5. Reflect on your role as a LEO: Remember your duty to protect and serve the community. Focus on the long-term consequences of your actions and strive to make decisions that align with your professional responsibilities and ethical principles.

Deescalation Techniques: The Stoic Approach

With a calm and rational mindset established, you can apply the following Stoic-inspired deescalation techniques:

1. Active listening: Give your full attention to the individual you’re speaking with. This demonstrates respect and understanding, which can help to establish trust and defuse tension. Stoic mindfulness can help with this.
2. Empathetic communication: Acknowledge the individual’s emotions and perspective, even if you don’t agree with them. This validation can help to ease tensions and open the door to cooperation. The stoic virtue of justice can help with this. 
3. Seek common ground: Identify shared goals or values and use them as a basis for collaboration. This can foster a sense of unity and facilitate peaceful resolutions. The Stoic virtue of wisdom is relevant to this skill. 
4. Maintain a confident and non-threatening posture: Your body language can significantly impact the outcome of an interaction. By projecting confidence and non-aggression, you can encourage cooperation and minimize the risk of violence. Utilize your discipline to keep control of your body and how you are outwardly presenting yourself.

By employing the Stoic principles of emotional control and rationality, LEOs can effectively deescalate tense situations and ensure the safety of all parties involved. By first deescalating yourself, you create the foundation for successful and peaceful resolution of conflicts. It’s important to remain open to new approaches that can enhance our abilities to serve and protect our communities. Embracing Stoic philosophy and incorporating its teachings into our deescalation techniques can provide valuable tools for navigating the complex and challenging situations we face daily.

Remember, it all starts with you. Deescalate yourself first. 

Hope and Stoicism – they are the same

Written by: Sergeant Steve Sweeting

In my travels and experiences teaching Stoicism to LEOs, I have all kinds of conversations with many different people. I engage with everyone and try to listen to all points of view. I often value the critics because they challenge me and my ideas. They help me refine my thinking and sharpen it to a fine point. That’s where today’s newsletter starts: a conversation with a critic.

I was speaking with a Ph.D. (psychologist and researcher) who works with LEOs. She had no idea who I was, so during our conversation I mentioned that I write and teach about Stoic philosophy, mainly sharing it with my community of LEOs. She quickly announced she’d “looked into Stoicism” and found a “fatal flaw” in the philosophy… “GASP!” I took a Stoic mental pause and said, “Tell me more about that.” She had determined that Stoicism was completely devoid of hope, something she said she relies upon daily and something she couldn’t live without. She had obviously made up her mind, but in that objection to Stoic philosophy, she had given me something to think about.

So, I’ve been thinking about it and coming back to it time and time again until I’ve found some clarity and decided what I want to say about the idea of hope.

Fast forward to recent events. My beautiful new niece and goddaughter was just born a few days ago. I can already tell that she and I are going to be great friends. Her parents kept the name a secret until after she was born. Her name is Hope.

Being a proud uncle and a freshly minted godfather, I started thinking: What can I do? What presents can I buy? What can I do to help? What needs can I help meet for the tired parents? One thing I thought would be cool is to go buy some newspapers from the day of her birth. My plan: throw them in my safe for 18 years, then in 2043 on her 18th birthday, we will have a cool present to give her. At that point I’ll probably have to explain what newspapers are.

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So my wife and I made a late night trip to the store and hit the newspaper rack. The irony punched me in the face. Here we are buying presents for 18 years from now, for a precious little baby named Hope, and the newspaper headlines inspire anything but hope. Absolutely horrible news, disaster, outrage, war, death, and so much more. You look at the news in black and white and wonder: what kind of world will this baby grow up in? Will we even last another 18 years?

Is there any hope for Hope?

I started reaching for my Stoic mental tool belt in this moment, and the question posed by our Ph.D. friend suddenly went from philosophical abstract to practical reality in my mind. Where in this set of tools and tactics do I find a way to have hope for the future?

After a quick mental pat down, I started breathing easy. I still felt optimistic about the future, confident that in 18 years I’ll be handing her these newspapers and explaining how they used to print information on slices of dead trees. I have hope, I feel quite a bit of it, but where is it coming from?

I think the Stoic practice of examining impressions and challenging perceptions is a means for developing hope. Weighing that against my experience, I’ve lived through 9/11, too many hurricanes to count, people have tried to kill me, the worst era in the history of law enforcement, turmoil, upheaval, the birth of the home computer, the birth of the internet, the rise of AI, and so much more. Yet here I am, comfortable and happy, sitting in my bed writing about hope.

“I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent. No one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.“
— Seneca

I think the Dichotomy of Control, developing strength, and building resiliency all come together to create a worldview that is very hopeful. Will there be hard times in the future? Yes, absolutely. Am I prepared for that future? Yes, absolutely. I have confidence that the future will work out and that I’ll handle whatever form that future takes. It feels like hope to me.

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
— Marcus Aurelius

For my more advanced philosophical readers: if you just google “Stoic quotes about hope,” you will probably get a lot of quotes that sound like Stoicism teaches against having hope. Quotes like this:

“Hecato says, ‘cease to hope and you will cease to fear.’… The two of them march in unison like a prisoner and the escort he is handcuffed to.”
— Seneca

But examine what Seneca is saying and you might just come away with a different understanding. He is saying that hope and fear are linked and connected. For example: When we say that we “hope” that something doesn’t happen, we are expressing a fear of something. Or when we say we “hope” things turn around or get better, we are saying that a bad thing or something fearful has happened and we “hope” that it changes.

But what if you took fear out of the equation? What if you pulled out the handcuff key and unshackled hope from fear? What if you feared nothing and were confident in your ability to handle all outcomes? What if you had the absolute belief that things would turn out fine? How would we describe a person like that? I think we would say that they are an incredibly hopeful person. How would it feel not to have fear about the future? I think you would find it hard to distinguish that lack of fear from an abundance of hope.

So where in Stoicism does it say that it is a Virtue to be hopeful? I think just below the surface it is baked in and part of the Stoic DNA. It is right there in the four cardinal Virtues: Courage. The ability to overcome fear. Defeating fear rewards you with a whole lot of hope.

One last thing: There is a finer point to be made here. I still ride around with a large Velcro patch on my car carrier, and on a solid black background in large bold white letters it says “Hope is not a good plan.” I stand by that. Hope is not a good plan; it is not a valid strategy; it’s not a tactic that serves you. I could easily design more patches that express similar truths.

• Wishing is not a good plan
• Happiness is not a good plan
• Comfort is not a good plan
• Anger is not a good plan
• Knowing the right people is not a good plan
• Optics is not a good plan 

I am no more “anti-hope” than Seneca was, but I understand the nuance of it. Good leaders inspire hope; they give hope; they do not rely on hope as a strategy. Hope is a good, positive feeling. Hope is a reward for courage, not something that replaces the need for it. 

Amor Fati
– Sgt. Steve

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